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Fandangoo, Diva Arrested, Survivor Series & Crap!
Where the hell is everybody at? Hopye you all enjoyed your weekends. We’ve been busy here at the Fatal 4-Way. OK, not really. Lol!! We have been busy but not necessarily with the blog. Lol!! What can I say, we are that damn good. It doesn’t take much to whip this mo-fo together (yeah it does, I’m lying).
Well hello, there…Sexy! Are you rocking it out Gangnam Style? God I hope not. That song’s so annoying however there is a great cover of it for all you Minecraft players out there on youtube. The video is quite neat actually.
But neither Minecraft or Gangnam Style has anything to do with wrestling. What hit me the other night was that we are just one pay-per-view away from the Royal Rumble in January. The TLC pay-per-view, and then the next one is the Royal Rumble ppv. How awesome is that? Which means, WrestleMania 29 is right around the corner. With that, I’ll shut it and get to bidness.
Did anyone else vomit in their mouths when John Cena locked tongues with AJ? It looked like he was trying to get to her va-jay-jay the PG way. And trust me, there is no such thing as that in a PG way.
Ryback should stick to tossing around living room furniture because his promo skills scream, “duh football!” Listening to him talk himself into a hole (not unlike the one Cena was trying to get to, ew), I wanted to take back that 5 minutes and sue the WWE and Ryback for loss of time on my life. Ryback is over-rated and over-used. I could think of ten other fella’s who deserve to be in the hunt for CM Punk’s WWE championship.
Well, Punk made it. This past Monday marked 365 days as champion. As of this posting he’s at 374 days as champion, unless something happens this weekend that we don’t know about yet. Would I like him so surpass Bruno Sammartino who is sitting pretty as the longest running WWF/WWE champion in history at 2,803 Days, yes I would but I somehow doubt that CM Punk is going to be champion for nearly 8 years. Yep, that’s right folks, Diva did math. I might not be accurate but points there for at least trying, right? In this day and age, it’s impossible for a champion to hold on to any championship for two years let alone seven and a half. There’s just too many Superstars in the running for the big one. WWE doesn’t always keep it fair they choose from a plethora of big guys (in stature that is), which leaves the medium to smaller guys fighting for the lower card titles.
Survivor Series didn’t have the epicness as last years. It must have been The Rock who made last years good. I don’t really know what it was. I think it was a handful of things. For once the Diva’s match didn’t suck as bad as I expected it too. The replacement for Cody Rhodes on Team Ziggler could have been better than David Otunga. What a waste of space he was. I like that Team Ziggler won, but seriously, eliminated Wade Barrett was a horrible idea. I’m not being biased here (OK maybe a wee bit), but how is that suppose to instill a push? What I did like about the traditional Survivor Series team matches was the opening match. However, take Brodus Clay & Tensai out of the match and it would have been match of the night. With those two tools in there it automatically doesn’t make the cut. But damn, Rey Mysterio, Sin Cara, Justin Gabriel & Tyson Kidd are the epitome of excitement. Those four worked their asses off against Tensai’s team of Epico & Primo and the annoying Prime Time Players. I’m this close to shoving that whistle up Titus O’Neil’s ass. And next time he barks like that, I’m tempted to call the Humane Society to let that dog he swallowed hole out. Thankfully both team Captains (Tensai and Brodus Clay) were taken out early on in the match leaving the other eight to own the show. Which they could have done. So close but so far. I’m dreading yet another Sheamus vs. Big Show match. Sheamus is so talented but Big Show bores me to the point where I contemplated licking a light socket just to get excitement. I was also bored to tears with CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. Ryback. It’s not Punk’s fault, it’s Cena’s and Ryback’s fault. I just can’t stand either Cena or Ryback. They’re like a bad STD except there is NO CREAM FOR THAT!
Speaking of that match, NXT stars Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollin’s lead the attack on Ryback both at Survivor Series and the following night on RAW. What is everybody’s take on this? Clearly, Paul Heyman set that up. However, I’m really hoping that this isn’t another “Nexus” scenario because that was done. In almost the exact same fashion. If the WWE had done that right and made Nexus a stronger faction, with just Wade Barrett as their leader, things would have turned out differently. We wouldn’t have the Corre to deal with, and they could have been the greatest faction in recent WWE history. WWE gets bored to fast and disbands potential so fast. Don’t blink, you’ll miss something great.
WWE Diva, Kaitlyn was arrested last week for an unpaid speeding ticket.
Picture and article courtesy of tumblr.com.
Too bad it wasn’t something more juicy because then y’all might give a shit. I’m sitting here thinking, “the only reason I’m mentioning this, is because I have nothing.” Lol!
The 2013 Royal Rumble promotional poster has been released…
There you have it folks. I’m not sure what’s left to say. I decorated my apartment with my boyfriend this weekend. Surprised that such a tiny apartment took the entire day to decorate. But it looks nice. Although my white garland with white & R2D2 lights keeps falling down. I think I put it too close to the sliding door. Oops, my bad! Mat and I had a day that was just us, doing fuck all at home. Put the garland and lights on the balcony, put the garland up inside, greenery around the apartment, put up our first Christmas card from my friend Dave, and got the tree up and decorated while watching a crap load of Christmas movies (The Muppets Christmas Carol, A Christmas Story, White Christmas, Christmas Vacation, Merry Christmas Mr. Bean and A Garfield Christmas Special). It took us from noon to almost midnight to do all this, but it was fun. At least I think now he understands why I had so many Christmas totes. Lol!
That’s it for me this week. I think I stretched this week’s edition with enough bullshit. Because, In Life…There Are Winners, and There Are Losers….Be Jealous and Be Sexy!
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***the views and opinions expressed in “Boot Camp” are strictly my own and do not in any way reflect those of WWE, TNA or any other group that I might inadvertantly piss off! But….If you’re gonna get all emo over it, then run home to your mommy, curl up in the fetal position and cry salty tears into your fucking Ovaltine!!***
BOOT CAMP
Hey peeps! What’s percolatin’??
Now, I’m sure some of you were a little put off by my rant last week….getting all “real” on you and shit like that. What can I say? That was my frame of mind last week. That was the kind of week I had been having. As I like to say, “Sometimes, life gets in the way!”. Last week was an understatement. My tone during that article was very depressing. Not the normal upbeat kind of thing you’ve come to expect from me when I put this blog out for you all to enjoy. There was no enjoyment last week, and I apologize.
This week, I plan to try and make up for it, and have some fun. I think you all deserve that, and it will be good to get back on track with the way I usually do things around here!
So, let’s see… What can I talk about first?
Oh, right!
What in the bloody blue Hell is a “Fandangoo”???
Okay. Before you jump up and start waggling your fingers at me with some “smart mark” comment about they corrected it a week later and it only has one “O” now….just sit down and shut the fuck up! I’m gonna crack on this, and you’re going to have two choices of what to do in this matter. Nothing, and like it! Am I clear? Good! Now, let’s move on…..
Fandangoo! I mean, how desperate do you have to be for a gimmick that you settle for this?? It doesn’t even sound like a good character. It makes the bad gimmicks from the 80’s seem like sheer brilliance. How close was Johnny Curtis to cutting his wrists before he opted to take this on? Fandangoo! Sounds like something out of Dr. Seuss, or maybe a slang term for an STD you might catch from a Brazilian hooker. You need your trusty assistant, Pepe, at your side when you travel in such sketchy territory. He will keep you safe and disease free! “Oh no, Senor. You do not want her. She gots de Fandangoo!”.
(Admit it. You just read that last part in a Mexican accent!)
Thanks, Pepe! You’re a life saver.
Or, maybe it’s the name of a new web site. Like the site fandango.com where you can buy movie tickets. At fandangoo.com, I guess you’d go there to buy what? Tickets to movies at a porn theater? Must be where the “goo” part comes into play.
I didn’t see any further vignettes for this guy all week, so I wonder if this thing has been scrapped, or if they’re backing off so they can bring him out in a couple weeks. Hard to say, but regardless….I have a very bad feeling about this!
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WWE.com did a countdown of the 50 Most Beautiful People in WWE history, and I am not completely on board with every placement they did. Some people obviously were added as a joke. At least it seemed that way. A few of them I had never heard of before. But, I agree 100% with Trish Stratus being the #3 on that list, with the #1 spot going to none other than Miss Elizabeth! I could not be more pleased with that #1 ranking for someone who always carried herself with the class and poise of a queen.
Anyone who disagrees with me will have to settle their difference of opinion in Mortal Kombat.
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I want to thank John Cena for completely ruining AJ for me with that kiss on Monday night. I always thought Cena could fuck up a wet dream…and I was RIGHT! AJ is tainted now, and I may never look at her the same way again. I still like her and think she is great. Just hate that she had to be orally violated by Cena for the sake of a shitty storyline.
Ya know, I almost…for one brief moment, thought that someone should have called security, or shot Cena with a taser. The way he was making out with AJ was really “un-sexy”. He was eating her face like a fat kid on a $5 foot long! I think Cena needs a Wellness Program investigation to make sure he wasn’t high on bath salts that night.
Jesus H Christ, people! If that’s how Cena gets down, it’s no wonder why his marriage failed!
And, the only reason why Dolph Ziggler gives half a shit about any of this is because he is jealous of Cena’s relationship with AJ. He wants some of that hot, sweaty Cena lovin’, too!
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There’s been a lot of buzz this week about the three NXT guys who attacked Ryback at Survivor Series. Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns (no relation to Luther Reigns, I hope) are the kind of guys who would have been called up from FCW to face Ryback in one of his squash matches, but it seems they have somehow won the proverbial lottery and are splitting the winnings three ways. It still remains to be seen whether this will succeed, or not. Affiliating them in some way with Paul Heyman and CM Punk will do wonders to develop their characters, but how long until Ryback puts all three of them on the shelf?
There is a reason why NXT is not televised, and you can only watch the “show” online, and that’s because NXT has evolved into a C-rated holding cell brand for people who work for WWE, but the writers have no fucking idea what to do with them. NXT is the inner rim of the WWE toilet bowl, where floaters swirl round and round until they are flushed away for good, or for a lucky few….washed to the edge of either the RAW or SmackDown side and survive to face another day.
These guys were a big deal back in the land of nobodies. Let’s see if they can make it on the main roster.
Word has it that more “talent” from the NXT brand is going to be brought up soon as well. Hey, WWE. I understand that you want to give the opportunity to those who you deem worthy, but let’s not flood the main roster with a bunch of scrubs who still aren’t quite ready for prime time, eh? Look what happened to the Divas division. Too many Diva Search wash-outs who got a second chance killed the quality of that once great division and has reduced it to a joke, in some people’s opinions…mine included. It’s a shame. They “future endeavor” all the ones who can actually carry a match, and leave it to the talentless swimsuit models to fuck it up for everyone else. Now, I know the men’s roster isn’t it in any real danger (yet) of being watered down and polluted with lesser performers, but if this current trend continues, we may all be in a lot of trouble. Whoever is calling the shots backstage had better keep a watchful eye on this big migration up from NXT. There is a lot of good to this, but there may also be a whole lot of bad if this blows up in their faces!
Just sayin’…..
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Alright, people. I’m about done with you for this week. I hope you had a better time than you did last week. I mean, you could have shoved a pencil in your eye and hooked jumper cables up to your balls, and still had a better time than what last week’s Boot Camp brought to the table.
I’ll catch you back here next time, troopers! Take it easy, and have a great week. I’ll see you later. Until then, troops…..YOU’RE DISMISSED!!
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Had enough yet? You got something to say to me? E-mail me at darkside619@hotmail.com and get it off your flabby little chest! Your feedback is both welcomed and encouraged, and your responses will be highlighted in my next Boot Camp article. Your orders are clear, troops……it’s time to stand up and sound off!! I’ll make you famous! >:)
Until next time, this is The Sarge…..reminding you: By all means let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.
The Sarge’s YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/F4WBootCamp
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Follow The Sarge on Twitter: @The_Sarge_F4W
That’s it for us this week, hope you enjoyed Sarge & Diva’s shenanigans. It’s going to be a busy rush to get the Fatal 4-Way’s holiday tradition of preparing the Best and Worst of 2012 edition. Coming in a month! Enjoy peeps!
“Whoa! Thank God Cena & Ziggler didn’t make it to the showers! Only 1 guy walks out of a wrestling shower room fight!!! “
-Carlito Colon via Twitter @Bodyguylito
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