WWE No Way Out Predictions & Diva meets The Hitman

We are live (well, at least two of us are) from Virginia!! I love it when the blog goes International, well not that international. Considering we have always had Sarge who is the only out of Canada writer at the moment. We have our WWE No Way Out predictions that everybody loves! Anyways, lets just get this show on the road.

OK, So I’m not TECHNICALLY live in Virginia this week. Consider this a pre-tape. I decided to save time that I thought that at least starting The Skirt Sheet this week was a good idea to save on time. I will finish this in Virginia and post the entire blog from Virginia. Don’t you hate it when you have an excellent idea floating around your head and forgot it? That’s happening to me right now. I had this righteous idea and thought, “I should write this sum bitch down or else I’m going to forget it.” Needless to say, I didn’t write it down and now well, I forgot it. It was a doozey too.  It’s time to shut it and get to bidness. I have a lot of crap to get to and it’s only Wednesday morning at 4:23.

 

Saturday, was a great day. To say that I’m a bit in shock is a touch of an understatement. On Saturday, it never quite hit me. Hell, it didn’t really hit me until Tuesday, but I friggin’ met Bret “Hitman” Hart! I stood in line for 2-hours to meet a man, who I’ve looked up to since I was ten years old. That’s 22 years. A man from a family I respect so much that two years ago, I trespassed on his family’s former property just to get a look at the house this amazing wrestling family lived. I frigging met Bret “Hitman” Hart! I did it with three of my best friends too.  Greg, Colleen and Mat. It was, yeah! I can’t even describe the feeling that I have right now besides bewilderment. I feel like I’m daydreaming but I have the photographic proof that I FUCKING MET BRET “HITMAN” HART!!! Sure three days later it hit me, even though Mat kept telling me that I met him on Saturday all day long. It never hit me until Tuesday. Un-fucking-believable!! Can you tell I’m still in shock?

This was probably why meeting “The Genius” Lanny Poffo, so anti-climatic. I wanted to meet the Genius, because A) he was funny, B) he’s Macho Man’s brother, and C) he’s better than Hogan’s butt-monkey minions Brutus Beefcake and the Nasty Boys.  The one thing I can tell you, is if Poffo was wearing a different shirt, I wouldn’t have recognized him. He’s in damn good shape though, and looks good for being 57 ½ years old.  Oh and here’s a random fact about Lanny Poffo… He’s CANADIAN!!! Yep, he was born in Calgary, Alberta. Who knew?! He did, but I didn’t! I know tons about shit like this. Sometimes you just need to read up on your edu-ma-kate-shun! ROFLMAO!

Who else was there?? Brutus Beefcake, The Nasty Boys, and Virgil. Plus Robin from the original Batman, Screech from Save By The Bell.  Mat & Colleen had their picture taken with the doctor guy from Star Trek Voyageur. It was a wonderful, yet long day. Totally worth it and I had a fantastic time. Never been to a Comic-con before and it was neat seeing all the different people dressed up, and meeting wrestlers I’ve grown up with.

 

So I watched TNA Slammiversary from Sunday (only on Monday). So instead of going full throttle into TNA talk, I’ll do point forms…. READY? SET? BLOW!!!

1- Match #1 between X-Division champion Austin Aries and Samoa Joe was an amazing match. It was a clinic! I wasn’t sure how Samoa Joe would do with the quickness and agility of Aries but he kept pace. I’m not saying Joe is slow by any means, because for a bigger guy, he is agile and quick, but Aries is almost lightening quick compared to Joe. Awesome job! If you download just one match from Slammiversary, download this one.

2- Match #2 wasn’t a pre-booked match, but a late addition (we all know how I feel about these), but props out to Hernandez and Kid Kash for working hard and actually making a good match out of very little. I don’t mean that in a bad way either. There were tons of high spots that these two X-Division stars executed. I was impressed.

3-Match #3, I’m not a Devon fan, I never was. So I had very little expectations going into Devon & Garrett Bischoff vs. Robbie E. & Robbie T.. But since I forgot to watch Impact last week, I’m not sure if I’m missing something. Madison Rayne watched from the ramp. What I did notice is that she looked less like Miss Piggy this time and more like Nancy Kerrigan if Tonya Harding missed her knee cap and hit her in the face instead. Nasty ass!!

4-Match #4 was for the #1 contendership for the TNA heavyweight championship. A triple threat match between Jeff Hardy, Mr. Anderson and Rob Van Damn. I was actually a bit disappointed. RVD looked really slow, and Mr. Anderson did nothing. Jeff Hardy carried the match and he took majority of the bumps. I was not all that impressed with this match.

5-The return of James Storm as the TBA opponent of the 470+day undefeated Crimson. The more TNA pushed the fact that Crimson had been undefeated for 470+days, was a dead give away to the outcome of this match. Never mind the fact that his opponent was Storm.  Predictable thy name is professional wrestling!!!!

6-TNA president, Dixie Carter came out to introduce who would be the first inductee in the TNA Hall of Fame. Not surprised that it would be Sting (Yawn! Somebody call the gimmick police because he just keeps on stealing them).

7-Gail Kim defends her Knockouts Championship against Miss. Tessmacher. All I have to say to this is…. That’s a shit outcome! (for all you noobs out there, Tessmacher is the new Knockouts Champion.)

8-Not sure why WWE superstar, Christian (former TNA Champion, Christian Cage) made an appearance just to introduce the TNA #1 moment in ten years. It was Sting. Not quite sure what Sting moment. From what I took from it, was that it was just Sting *cough-overrated-cough*

9-Wow! How is it that AJ Styles never ceases to amaze me? Kurt Angle & AJ Styles took on TNA Tag Team Champions, Christopher Daniels & Kazarian, it was made to be a personal match for AJ against his two former friends, over an alleged affair with Dixie Carter. The storyline itself, who fucking cares, but AJ as a performer was amazing. Definitely has Wrestler of The Year Candidate in him.

10-Sting didn’t defeat Bobby Roode… That is all!

11-I’ve learned that I have the attention span of a gnat while watching TNA wrestling, so I made up a game a few months back, where I would play “Spot the Mullet & Serial Killer glasses.” It’s a game I used to play in the 90’s while watching WWF. I discovered that it’s way too hard to play that game now with TNA because that is more than half their audience. So I’ve switched it up to, “Spot The WWE T-Shirt game”. And it worked! I spotted 5 WWE T-shirts in the TNA crowd…

It’s not an easy game. If you don’t know your wrestling t-shirts, you may as well forget it.

 

Moving on to WWE where things don’t get much better. Lol!

 

I don’t think I laughed so hard from anything Vince McMahon has said until he said this to Laurinaitis on RAW this past week…

 

“You’re an astute business man who actually, and this is a true story, who actually hired the wrong one-legged wrestler!”

-Mr. McMahon to Executive Vice-President of Talent Relations, John Laurinaitis

It’s all making sense now! No wonder I couldn’t stand…stand HA!…Zack Gowen! Laurinaitis had the wrong cripple! Makes perfect sense now!! STOP LAUGHING COLLEEN, you might hurt yourself!

All I could think about when they showed Big Show pop R-Truth on the head was, “mama had a baby and it’s head popped off!” Remember, that thing you probably did to dandelions when you were a youngling? Way to write R-Truth off the show to deal with his ankle injury, just bop him on the head. Ooh that reminds me of little Rabbit Foo-Foo. He was hopping through the forest, picking up the field mice and bopping them on the head.  Anyways, no telling how long R-Truth will be away from action, but this makes you wonder the affect this has to have on Kofi Kingston, losing yet another tag team partner to injury (granted the other was to the Wellness Policy, but he became injured). Both times, Kofi was/is Tag Team champions. First with Evan Bourne who got nailed for smoking fake marijuana (then the second fail of the test and then an accident to which he’s recovering from now), and now with R-Truth, who has suffered an ankle injury. I love Kofi Kingston, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not gonna be tagging with him. It’s kind of like CM Punk’s curse. His last three WrestleMania opponents are all suspended; Rey Mysterio (Wellness Policy failure), Randy Orton (Wellness Policy failure), and Chris Jericho (disrespecting the Brazilian flag).

Watching the segment with Daniel Bryan, CM Punk and Kane turned into something that looked like it belonged in the local Pedophile Convention the moment AJ stepped through the ropes.

She can’t be more than 12 (actually she’s apparently 25). Someone feed her some donuts would ya! Anywhooo…. this whole, whatever the hell you call it is getting creepy. Seeing grown men fighting over someone like this. Daniel Bryan with his beard looks like an actual creeper (see end of the blog for our quote of the week to see exactly what I mean, lol). Her just standing there gets worse than this. Laurinaitis makes a tag team match with Kane and Daniel Bryan teaming up against CM Punk and AJ. WTF? So later on, they are in the ring and AJ tags herself in while Kane’s in there, and not only does she manage to confuse him, but she grossed me out as well because the DUDE IS OLD ENOUGH TO BE HER FATHER….

Ewwwwww!!!

 

Worst. Segment. In. RAW. History…

Mr. McMahon dancing with The Funkasaurus’ dancers, the Pterodactyls. This just proves that he was the genius (and I use that term as loosely as these dancers uses their twats) behind the mess that is the Funkasaurus. God help us all!! I often forget that this is the man who came up with T.L. Hopper and the Gobblygooker.

 

I have to move on from here. Probably should talk about Alberto Del Rio. According to some sources on Tumblr (granted they are just complete rumours, as nothing can be 100% confirmed from there), the WWE were looking to pull Del Rio from the World Heavyweight Championship match against champion Sheamus this Sunday at No Way Out. Luck would have it, during Del Rio’s match last Friday (actually Tuesday), he suffered a concussion when Khali nailed him in the noggin good. Problem solved for the WWE if that was the case. No word on how long Del Rio will be out of action. I’m not a fan of his by any means, but as a superstar who just got back from a nagging injury then to be put back on the shelf just a couple of months later, has to be so frustrating. He might think about going back to Mexico and selling tickets to a donkey show. Probably make a killing and would keep him in his white Hermés scarves.

 

We made it through April and May without a butt-load of firings. That’s usually the season where the firings take place. Just after WrestleMania. A few have been let go, but mostly from Florida Championship Wrestling, where they call talent up from. Could it be still too early for us to let our “future endevoured” guard down? Who knows, it is the WWE after all.

 

Whenever the commentators say the word “unload”… like “Big Show just unloaded on John Cena”… I freakin’ giggle. It just sounds so dirty to me. C’mon, next time listen to it. It totally sounds perverted. So funny!

 

I actually do believe that is all for me to comment on today. I’m enjoying my holidays here in… LOVELY VIRGINIA! Yes I pulled a Mick Foley, I was going for the cheap pops here folks! Gah! Sometimes nobody gets my humour. This is indeed the life, feet up, drink in hand, two gorgeous kids, and two amazing friends near by. Yep, this is the life, so this next statement has never been more true… Because, In Life…There Are Winners, and There Are Losers….Be Jealous and Be Sexy!

 

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WWE

No Way Out

-WWE Intercontinental Championship: C)Christian   vs.  Cody Rhodes

Sarge’s Prediction: Christian

Diva’s Prediction: Christian

The Game’s Prediction: Christian

Greg’s Prediction: Christian

-World Championship: C)Sheamus  vs. Dolph Ziggler

Sarge’s Prediction: Dolph Ziggler

Diva’s Prediction: Sheamus

The Game’s Prediction: Dolph Ziggler

Greg’s Prediction: Sheamus

-WWE Diva’s Championship: C)Layla vs.  Beth Phoenix

Sarge’s Prediction: Beth Phoenix

Diva’s Prediction: Beth Phoenix (she better be)

The Game’s Prediction: Beth Phoenix

Greg’s Prediction: Layla via DQ

-WWE Championship, Triple Threat Match: C)CM Punk  vs. Daniel Bryan  vs. Kane

Sarge’s Prediction: Kane

Diva’s Prediction: CM Punk

The Game’s Prediction: CM Punk

Greg’s Prediction: CM Punk

-Steel Cage Match, if Big Show Loses John Laurinaitis is fired: John Cena   vs.  Big Show

Sarge’s Prediction: Big Show

Diva’s Prediction: Big Show (I hope I’m wrong)

The Game’s Prediction: Big Show

Greg’s Prediction:  John Cena

Lol!! I guess that’s it for this week. Didn’t realize I’d be flying solo, but I can attest to the fact that Sarge was super busy this week with Kaden’s birthday party which we just got home from. Next week I’m sure half the blog will still be written from Virginia. See you next wee, I gotta go, I have some drunk Wii bowling to do with Sarge.

“Once you go Bryan, there’s no point in tryin'”

-Daniel Bryan about his sex appeal to the ladies